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Waaa.......so many days i never write blog already.............Eeeee very weird.............mabye will write tomolo ??? i also dun know leh..........see first.........hahaz anyway i juz write some of the intresting events that happened for the past few days.............
Saturday ( 15/7/06 ) : Went to Malaysia.........dun know wat beach in malaysia go there WALK WALK alone.............hoping i will be happier................................................then after that so bored.........so decided to find seashell............the i stand there for like dun know how many hours than i onli found one small miserable seashell...............so SiAnZ...............
Sunday ( 16/7/06 ) : Nothing much happened onli that i changed my phon to E 900 C ( SAMSUNG )
Monday (17/7/06 ) : Nothing much today juz a normal school day execpy got white space which we got to go to school late at 8.15am..........
Today ( 18/7/06 ) : Nothing much at all happened that is intresting enough for me to write...........onli that tomolo got Chemistry test..........juz hope i can pass =x
Today tried to commit suicide........was standing at the edge of the building.......i mad le........hAiZ :"( being close to death is scary..........hAiZ :"( waaaa i feel weird not writing my blog..........hAiZ :"( wait till i at least feel better than i write again............thats all today...........hAiZ :"(
i will not be writing my blog till.............hAiZ :"( no mood nowadays...........hAiZ..........and you ignore me.........hAiZ :"( BUT WILL WRITE TITLE WHICH SHOULD BE QUITE CLEAR.........OF THE DAY LO.......hAiZ :"(
i want to sleep..........and stop crying..............but how.............hAiZ................ today during lesson i didnt pay much attention cause i folding paper crane like mad lo.........execpt for math lesson i was like happily drawing the graph..........unbelievable lo i can understand............. HAHA.....yAy.....YiPPiE !!! then today DnT till 6.30+ lo so late then i reach home at 8pm............ then i was very tired.........cause walk here walk there cut this cut there...........waaaaaa very sianZ...........then before going home that time..........accidently sanded some of my skin and nails..........then my hand bleeding.........so pain...........hAiZ...........no one noticed...........went to canteen refilled my bottle with cold water..........poured on my wound..........pain.......i tolerate..........nvm lo..........go home........cry.........why did it happened.............hAiZ :"( thinking too much..............of you..............but i know you no longer care..........hAiZ...........at night 12am+ then haven sleep............crying.............hAiZ :"(
............hAiZ today never sleep..........at 1.50am got world cup finals........i switch on my tv and watch..........then zidane did something stupid and crazy lo go headbutt the person he not happy with on the chest............stupid lo then he get red card got sent off............so stupid then the whole team lost a good player and i think that why they lost lo............he crazy lah..........then go school not tired..........cause i used to it.............then after schoolstayed in school do stupid thing..............then go home play com. then sleep.............hAiZ :"(
there is something i must do..........first thing i thought of to do is to say SORRY to you.............hAiZ :"( and till now i still dun know your reply........hAiZ :"( i feel lost and i dun know where i want to go next...........maybe i wants to juz stay where i am and wait...........cause i know if i continue i would go deeper and be lost forever..........hAiZ :"( today.........morning go school for robotics...........like last week play games over there not doing wat i am supposed to do............but today i did abit of building............then they play robo scocer.........quite stupid but its fun and i can see everyone was having fun............laughing at the stupidity of the robot playing scocer............me sitting alone there watching no expressions............juz looking :"( no mood to laugh but tried to smile.............hAiZ :"( but cannot.............SORRY :"( then after that can go home alreadi went out saw "son" in school then he say he doing his DnT then at first want to go see see............then nvm lah dun disturb him..........then went home alone again...........juz thinking.......and reflecting on myself............hAiZ :"( my friends...........are they really wat i should call them ??? i dun know............i am so confused now...................after that went home do maths homework do and do and do then i didnt realized that it was alreadi 6pm.........waaaaaa time passes so fast lo........then my parents went out again......ask me follow then today they ask me why i walk so slow and i think they noticed i was sort of crying............and they asked..............but then i tell them nothing..........i know they didnt believe me..........but they walk away...........did i do the correct or the wrong thing ??? someone tell me.............plz !!! :"( after that went home switch on com............then tried to enjoy playing pangya..........hAiZ :"( when can i laugh again..............and do you accept my apology ??? plz tell me..............hAiZ :"( SORY...........................hAiZ :"(
Today................still cant forget wat i was trying to for get yesterday..............but felt worse.............during E-maths lesson today i was like going to cry.............then i did............onli thing is that i think no one saw it...............thats all i can say lo...........then after school.............stayed in school awhile cause mabye "son" and "nUe Er" coming my house............according to "son" they coming...........then i very happy..............but then they never, i also dun know wat happened............then i was sad...........after he told me he want go home..........so not going le................hAiZ :"( you make me put my hopes so high then pull it down...........why............hAiZ :"( before "son" said he not coming i accompanied him to buy DnT stuff...........then he said he want to go home............so i went to Macdonalds stay there i did nothing..............at first i played with camera phone then make till Hadhi angry then not fun anymore.............then change target to nUe Er.............until i play sian le...........i sit the "daydream" and almost cried and i think you saw it ??? !!! GOT ??? hAiZ :"( then after that saw that nUe Er not in Mac thought she went to erm..............4th floor i guess.........went up and at the bend i saw you !!! i was right you was at the 4th level..............then i think i scared you................ SORRY..............Y_Y hAiZ :"( then after that went to play badminton..............and i was totally shocked that i still could play................but not as good as last time..............Hmm but i dun think i even play well last time..............nvm lah, the point is after not playing badminton for so long i still can play.............i tried to smile............yea i did smile at sometimes ever some things..............hAiZ :"( SORRY..............hAiZ :"( again........... then after playing badminton all of your tired so ur went home me too.............but different mood.............on the bus home i tried not to cry.............i didnt but i had very teary eyes.............its like i blink my eyes it will start rolling down..................but wiped it..............hAiZ :"( come back first thing happened is when i went online and over 20 contacts scold me all at the same time...........say i very irritaiting..............AM I ??? i didnt know so i, decided to ask you..............so i SMS'ed but you didnt reply..............hAiZ :"( then i wait and wait till midnight you also haven reply..............hAiZ :"( hAiZ..............i not in good mood i went to try and sleep............
I MUST TRY TO SLEEP !!! although i am sleepy i propably cant sleep...............hAiZ :"( when will this ends ???
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should i upload pictures that i took when i was playing with the camera phone ???
hAiZ..........today tried to force myself to be happy........but i juz couldnt..........i cant control it..............hAiZ :"( in school today tried to avoid Kheng Chai and "son" cause i dun want to be disturbed cause i am alreadi not in a very good mood so when recess, go buy food then come up to class eat then Kheng Chai and "son" they all sitting at my place there........then i go my previous place sit..............cause i wanted to avoid them !!! hAiZ :"( why............and during geography i think i sort of cried but i think no one noticed...........then after school no one stayed back so i juz stayed in class awhile then went home.........crying my way home.............hAiZ :"( straight after i got home i switch on my com..........then played a little pangya hoping that it will probably make me happier...........but it was the opposite.............cause for someone use my account to waste my money to go add upgrades..............hAiZ :"( nvm lah..........hope i can earn it back fast............but why must hackers hack my account............why me !!! then i play like onli one six holes match then siANz so never play................then cried all the way till i sleep...............but will i sleep.............after this day of misery............how to forget it and how can i control my feelings.............HOW ??? !!! ANYONE CAN TELL ME ??? .............hAiZ :"(
hAiZ.............nowadays people say i very happy.............but thats not the truth............do they even know ??? hAiZ :"( today again people say i very happy nowadays but they dun know that they are actually saying the opposite thing............do they ??? hAiZ :"( i know i laugh alot but does that show you that i am happy ??? it is cause i want to forget everthing and juz laugh like mad until i remeber why i was unhappy....................then today go school laugh and laugh.............then they say i very happy...........but then ( bla bla bla............. ) go school my "son" keep saying about his "mama" then make me laugh cause funny ma...........but then ( bla bla bla........... ) then after school Kheng Chai and "son" keep disturbing me then i was like irritaited but was kind of funny............so weird lo !!! then after they disturb me till they sian liao then went to "son" house..........but today go there so bored then i was so bored till i play with children toy lo.........but quite fun then i cannot win then i gave up........i am too stupid to make all of them the same colour but onli managed to do one colour ( like shown in the picture lo ) hAiZ...........onli one colour............i am simply useless...........hAiZ :"( after that go home...........cried again............i still cannot forget the day you said you hate me.............and the june holidays where no one know wat happened to me..............hAiZ :"( cant even try to forget cause i cant !!! i am juz useless.............hAiZ :"( [ I HOPE UR DUN LEAVE ME ALONE ANYMORE.......... ]
3/07/06: TODAY HAPPAND SAD.................hAIZ :"(
hAiZ.........today sian.................holiday............never go school...........then early morning alvin call my hp then ask me play maple lo cause he want wake me up but actually i never sleep lo then........then go play lo............play till afternoon like 2pm+ then go play pangya cause you say want to play...........so quit maple then go play pangya with you..........play till 3pm then ur "mama" also want to play pangya then play together lo..........then ur talk very funny.........had a great time laughing.............they calling each other mama ma...........make me blur also.......... HAHA.....yAy.....YiPPiE !!! then all also so pro i lose to all of them...........mabye is i lousy ??? then i xiao lo the com. on whole day so i play all day lo then tomolo need to go school le..........happy cause i can see you again............... [ recently blog posts all write long long execpt this.......hahaz so conbine to make it look long........... stupid hoh ??? ]
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4/07/06 :HMM............TODAY QUITE LATE THEN COME BACK HOME CAUSE..........
dun know lah, recently i zm juz purely blur.........eh no lah is VERY BLUR !!! then was like keep hearing my name when "son" and kheng chai chatting lo dun know wat they talking bout me then blur i ask them then they always say :" wat i say ??? Got meh ??? " always the same answer one then i always the blur one........... lol !!! then today got DnT ma so go workshop do till quite late like about 5pm+ then can go home then help " someone's mama " pass up E-maths 1 hw lo then like wat lo cause when going to put in book drop that time walk past office saw Mr Cheok inside then "son" say juz give him lo.........then i say dun one juz put in book drop can liao then my "son" give me that kind of face ( =_=" ) then ok lo call Mr Cheok come out take then guess wat we call him then he say put in his book drop can le.............then i was like returning that same expression as him lo ( =_=" ) diao lo so stupidbut nvm lah help "someone's mama" ma then also fun want go home so early so waste time also nvm lo..............then after that accompany you go home then i went home.............hAiZ :"( then play com. again till 10.30pm+ then go sleep cause no one to chat liao............so sianZ so go TRY and sleep lo.............hAiZ :"( must try to sleep some more...........
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( tomolo continue cause i from got home till now blur ma thinking bout alot of things then now still blur so write half onli cause must continue "BLUR-ING" ) [ continued ]
hAiZ..........yesterday never sleep at all.............cause ur two like that make me worried ma...........then early morning i was tired so went i went for a jog to keep myself awake.......cause i still want to chat with ur tonight..........hope ur two ok le then i can sleep.........if not i wont sleep lo.........hAiZ.......... then during my jog SMS "son" ask him wether got sleep anot ma cause i asked him too cause i know he wont lo but then he replied yes so happy for him...........but then you..........hAiZ.........i dun know cause i think you cannot recieve my SMS for dun know wat reason..........then after that come back.........parents wanted to go out again..........so sianz !!! I DUN WANT I WANT STAY AT HOME PLAY COM. but have to obey lo...........so go out. they go IMM then my father say need go see laptop to buy for company use then the money is company pay lo...........so good !!! then waaa see alot of com. ..........feel like changing my laptop to a computer..........but i know cannot one cause when i go out with my parents i always come back empty handed if got is also they go out on weekday then buy somethng for me like last time he bought me this laptop lo...........i want to change to computer cause this laptop the video and graphics card so lousy then cannot play alot of games ma...........hAiZ !!! I WANT TO PLAY EVERY GAME THERE IS ON THIS PLANET............LOL !!! HAHA.....yAy.....YiPPiE !!! then at choose the laptop till 7pm + then finally bought one "Hp:invent" one lo.........then finally go eat dinner...........after dinner go home play maple till 1.30am + again lo then cannot sleep again.............hAiZ :"(
hAiZ........when must ur be like that..............hAiZ :"( today saturday.......have to go school for robotics today, but i go there like never do any programming of the bot and building of the bot, i juz "concentrated" on playing the internet online game lo..........then the teacher also never find out..............hahaz i so bad lo !!! hehe.............then after that i went home then straight after i reach home switch on com go see blog but all short short oneso very fast i read finish le loh...........then after i finish reading i went to play maple lo cause alvin ask me play party quest........... [ o.O if you dun play maple the boring part starts !!! SORRY !!! Y_Y ] first time i play party quest............quite hard cause my lvl so low lobut then got people help cause the name alreadi says it "PARTY" quest so its that you form a party an go play a quest together..........so i like the onli low lvl character there............then everone help me...........and for me it feels more like a helping ur friends quest than a party quest lo.............LOL !!! HAHA.....yAy.....YiPPiE !!! but then after awhile i got used to it then at least its more like party quest lo..........hahaz [ end of the boring part ] then after that my parents came back from work then i was like forced to go out............so sianz take car to Lot 1 which is like so near lo............i might as well run there, go by car still need to waste fuel lo............always go out with my parents always like juz following them and this time its still the same..............BORING !!! then after that went to IMM this one take car ther i nothing to say cause really quite far but want run there also can but the duration is long so nvm lo take car there then my parents like spent $1000+ buy water filter thingy and many other stuff all dun have mine lo..........then they all not empty handed go home only me lo............i used to it le always like that then after that go home lo then finally can go play with com liao..........hahaz then after that i play and play and play till 1.30am + then still cannot sleep cause ur like that i worried..........hAiZ :"(
sAd mE =(
rDRAgonZ....
nOt tHe giRL !!! hahaz.......
mY biRthDatE ??? its 15/9/91
hAiZ.....loNelY
rigsoh555@hotmail......e-mAiL me ???
dO i rEALLy LiKe ???:
bulBAsaUr !!! =D
rUn.....liKe tHe wiND !!! wOotS
i jUz hAtE :
pEoPLe mAkinG mE sAd..........='(
tHe dAyS wHeN i cAnT sLeeP aT niGht.......tHiNkiNg oF U
wiShEs i hOpE thAt'LL cOmE tRuE :
TO SIT BESIDE YOU FOR A MOVIE......
fOr mY biRtHdAy wiSh tO cOmE tRue.........
fOr mY biRthDay tO bE a dAy tHat i wiLL nEvEr fOrgEt.........
tO gO oUt wiTh u aGaiN.......
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